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Oh hai

Forgot you existed, tumblr. >_<

Thanks Amazon, your advertising sucks.

However poorly programmed your “relevant” advertising selects what to display is usually laughable at best, but in this particular case I find it offensively inaccurate. The title of this book has absolutely nothing to do with bipolar disorder in any context whatsoever.

Having to subject my thoughts and observations to the viewing of advertising while browsing for books to purchase is a compromise I’m usually willing to make for lower prices, because they are typically easy to ignore.

Being reminded of my mother’s bipolar disorder and the effect that it had on the lives of both her and my family, and of the way in which she was murdered, however, is unquestionably a compromise I’m not comfortable with.

But, it’s America, the dollar drives everything.. and we all have to earn our living, so there’s not a thing I can do about it. Whoever ends up reading this, given the restraints from your management (and the capacity of web coding capabilities), I doubt that little to nothing could be done even if there were a desire to make things better.

Advertising is a wretched invasion of thought and a disgrace to humanity. It is nothing more than thought control with emphasis on both societal neglect and selfish greed.

At least it keeps the prices low, so I can shop cheap to console myself with how frustrated I am with the state of the world.

I know.. we won’t want for much..

..

rambling

If I ever get to a point where I stop frustrating myself, that will be quite nice. I struggle constantly with this tireless self-degredation.. this frustration with existance. The state of the world itself seems to be at the same time motivation to spend every waking moment searching for the catalyst for change and progress and the seingle best reason to despair. I need to practice what I preach. Choice! Decide. Be. Be empowered. Be the change. Do what is right.

Best moment of my job ever.

I’m too lazy to retype, so I just copied a conversation where I explained this to my friend.

Today

22:54 had the best moment ever in pizza delivery tonight. lol

22:54 rofl, explain

22:55 Well there is this huge “OMG LIQUIDATION SALE” thing going on. Where people have set up booths and are selling cheap shit to stupid ignorant people. And some guy there ordered a delivery. Didn’t give any info as to where his booth was, and gave the wrong name and a non-functional phone number.

22:57 wtf lol

22:57 Before I even get inside this place, I’ve already got a bunch of dumb assholes jokingly suggesting that it’s their pizza and I should give it to them. This happens all the time. Apparently people think it’s hilarious. I hate them all. So I ask the door guy where this name is. He tells me it’s at the computer booth, in the back. So I walk back there, only to find out that’s not it. Try calling the number, it’s dead. So..some guy randomly walks by as I’m leaving, and is like ‘Oh, the vegi pizzas?  Yeah, that guy is at the front. Perfume counter.’ So it turns out one of the many people suggesting that the pizza was theirs was actually right.

23:02 lolol

23:02 I made a mistake. It happens. So, as I walk back to this guy, he shouts at me as I’m walking up, ‘You’re fuckin’ stupid man. I was yelling at you before.’ I pause, ‘Excuse me, what the fuck did you just say?’ He alters his statement, ‘I said you were crazy, man.’

23:03 rofl

23:03 ‘Uh, no, I’m fairly certain you called me stupid.’ He stammers, ‘Well yeah man.’ I reply, ‘Fuck you buddy. I don’t need to be called stupid. And I don’t need to give you this pizza.’ Turn, walk away as he’s threatening and insulting me, and toss the pizzas in a trash can on the way out.

23:05 LOLfucking OWNED :D

23:05 Then, as I leave, am like, “Oh fuck, I’m gonna lose my job. Pretty sure that’s not how corporate policy dictates I should handle that sort of situation.”

23:06 lol

23:06 Get back to the store and explain the situation, to more or less cheers and applause. :D

23:06 !!! holy shit. you just worked that LIKE A BOSS :O

23:06 Yeah xD It was fucking epic

Pursuit of happiness.

Sometimes the cold makes it difficult to think.

Sometimes the world seems colder than it is.

Thoughts don’t always flow out of me as easily as I’d like them to.

Something is almost within my grasp, but just toying with me right now. I can feel the presence but I can’t get a good grip.

All I want is to end greed, corruption, and violence in every single person’s life. Help restructure our world, rebuild it upon the foundations of empathy, forgiveness, acceptance, love and understanding.

Is this really so much to ask?

Greater things are calling my name.

But I don’t quite know how to reply.

^^

My brother and I decided that we’re going to write a book, generally focusing on the topics of empathy, forgiveness, love, and compassion and their relation to personal and social situations. I really think that this is going to be an interesting and fantastic process, and I’m really, really hoping that this could be one of the ways in… which I (and my brother) can affect the world in a positive way. =)